2 ways the world is probably going to end

Introduction

What you are about to read has been written by Mr Biffo, the creative force behind the 90s Teletext videogames magazine Digitiser. He now runs the show at digitiser2000.com.
Fallout 4 gives us one way the world could end – in a nuclear conflict, one that turns the world into a radioactive wasteland populated by giant insects, and reptilian mutants.
But given that the Cold War is now but a distant memory, how likely is it to go down that way? Here are 10 alternative ways that the world is probably going to end.

1. SPACE JUNK

Space is now so full of rubbish that has been flushed out of Space Shuttles and the International Space Station that it's getting heavier and heavier. Imagine a garbage bag that's already full of garbage, which you keep stuffing more garbage into. What's going to happen? That's right: it will implode beneath its own weight, causing a miniature black hole that will suck most of your kitchen into it. Now imagine that, but in space, or something.

2. WORLD WAR IV

Everyone has been expecting a third world war since the end of the last one, so much so that we've all become rather blasé about the possibility of another global confrontation. Last year, the United Nations held a crisis meeting about how best to keep the idea of Total War alive in the imaginations of the world's populace, and agreed that the best way forward would be to shelve World War III entirely. In the event of another war between super powers, we're going to skip over WW3, and go straight to World War IV, which will be fought entirely by robotic dogs.